Jack Appleby

The Story of Baby Jack

I couldn't believe it when I found out I was pregnant I have one son who is now five born in April 2002 called Callum and also had 2 miscarriages one in February of 2005 and then the second in February 2007. So you can imagine how amazed, happy but also anxious I was when I found out I was pregnant in April 2007. The thoughts that went through my mind were that something was going to go wrong, I calmed down a bit after the first scan but still kept thinking in my head something would go wrong. I had morning sickness until about 16 weeks which I was pleased about after having not only morning but all day sickness for the whole 9 months with callum. After I had my 20 week scan in August 2007 I really started to enjoy well I wouldn't say I enjoyed being pregnant but I began to relax and started thinking about the day Jack would be born and how Callum was going to make an excellent big brother.

Anyway I had a textbook pregnancy and like my first son (I was 11 days late) my due date of the 17th December passed by. On Christmas Eve I had an antenatal appointment with my midwife Jackie at my local doctors, everything was absolutely fine I was exactly 7 days overdue. She offered to do the membrane sweep but as I have Callum and Christmas day was the next day I said I didn't want it as I had this done with Callum and the next day he was born. I had an appointment with my consultant at Wansbeck hospital on Friday 28th December. They checked everything and the heartbeat and all was fine, he had a good strong heartbeat. They did the sweep and from that point on I had pains but nothing to strong. They gave me a date and time to come back to be induced but I knew I wouldn't need that. I went home and as the day went on the pains gradually got worse, I felt Jack moving all day. The pains were still only coming about every 30 - 45 minutes and were still bearable so I decided to go to bed and try and get a little sleep, before I went to bed I had a show so I just knew he was going to be born the next day. I woke up a few times through the night but still the pains were the same, by 5 in the morning they had got a little worse and I definetly remember feeling Jack move, I think this is the last time I felt him move. By 8 o clock I knew it was time to get Callum off to his Grandmas and also to warn my sister we would be on our way to get her soon, my sister and husband were my birthing partners. I rang the hospital and they told me to come over. The pains were still about 15 minutes apart so I had a bath. By the time I had been in the bath they were about 3 minutes apart so thought I better get a move on. We left the house and picked my sister up we arrived at the maternity ward at about 9.40am and by the time we arrived there the contractions were coming so quickly I don't even think they were 1 minute apart. As soon as we arrived they asked me to do a urine sample which I couldn't do and then I said I really feel like I need to push. The pains felt so strong I asked for some gas and air, they gave me this whilst they put the heart monitor on to me. It seemed to be taking ages to find it but I wasn't worried at this stage, my midwife said sometimes happens it depends on how far down the baby is. She said she would break my waters and they would attach a clip to Jacks head to monitor him. They attached the clip and still got no reading off this, at this stage I started to panic. They brought the scan machine in and knew before they even said those dreaded words that he was gone. I think I even remember saying to them he is gone isn't he. I was in total shock as was my husband David and sister Kelly. I remember my sister just bursting into tears. She went to call our mam. I knew I still had to gave birth and as I was 10cm when I arrived I knew it would be naturally. I asked if I could have something a little stronger for the pain I also think I wanted this so I would be a little out of it so I wouldn't know what was going on. Unfortunately the pethidine didn't even kick in as whilst my midwife had gone to get it I had a real urge to push and baby Jack was on his way. My sister went to get the midwife and a few moments later Jack was born. It was so awful the silence not hearing your baby cry. I was a little scared to look at first as I wasn't sure what he was going to look like. But my sister said he is lovelly. Jack was born at 10.55am and weighed 6lb 8 oz.

The first thing I said afterwards was how are we going to tell Callum, how does a 5 year old deal with this. He was so excited about having a baby brother. My husband told him I don't know how he managed it but somehow he did, I am so pleased I did not have to tell him.

Anyway then my mam arrived she just didn't know what to do or say I think she just wanted to take the pain away from me. We held our baby and cried so many tears that day. My husband went to tell out son and his parents. He brought Callum to the hospital to meet his baby brother he was so sad so upset and he just cried and cried. He sat with him for a while stroking his face, I really don't know what was going through his little mind. My mam went home to get my dad and my niece and nephew and david rang his parents to tell them to come over as well. We spent the rest of that day as a family holding and looking at Jack. My sister stayed at the hospital that night with me and my husband went home with my son I really think he needed to be with his dad that night. We didn't sleep at all that night, the next day came and everyone came back to the hospital. I decided I wanted to go home that day. That was the hardest day of my life leaving Jack in the hospital all on his own. It broke my heart to walk out of the hospital without him.

I never got to hear him cry or laugh, never seen him smile and didn't even see his eyes. My dear beautiful son Jack I think about you everyday, I miss you so much and only wish you could be with us today. Forever in our hearts Love Mammy, Daddy and Callum xxx


It has been just over 9 months now and I miss you so much, not a day goes by when I don't think about you. I am already thinking about what we can do to celebrate your first birthday but haven't come up with anything special enough for you yet. Lots of Love Mammy xxxx