| Location | Bedlington |
| Age | 0 |
| Date of Birth | 12/2007 |
| Date of Death | 12/2007 |
| Visitors | 2,957 since 29/01/2008 |
| Creator |
The Story of Baby Jack
I couldn't believe it when I found out I was pregnant I have one son who is now five born in April
2002 called Callum and also had 2 miscarriages one in February of 2005 and then the second in
February 2007. So you can imagine how amazed, happy but also anxious I was when I found out I was
pregnant in April 2007. The thoughts that went through my mind were that something was going to go
wrong, I calmed down a bit after the first scan but still kept thinking in my head something would
go wrong. I had morning sickness until about 16 weeks which I was pleased about after having not
only morning but all day sickness for the whole 9 months with callum. After I had my 20 week scan
in August 2007 I really started to enjoy well I wouldn't say I enjoyed being pregnant but I began to
relax and started thinking about the day Jack would be born and how Callum was going to make an
excellent big brother.
Anyway I had a textbook pregnancy and like my first son (I was 11 days late) my due date of the 17th
December passed by. On Christmas Eve I had an antenatal appointment with my midwife Jackie at my
local doctors, everything was absolutely fine I was exactly 7 days overdue. She offered to do the
membrane sweep but as I have Callum and Christmas day was the next day I said I didn't want it as I
had this done with Callum and the next day he was born. I had an appointment with my consultant at
Wansbeck hospital on Friday 28th December. They checked everything and the heartbeat and all was
fine, he had a good strong heartbeat. They did the sweep and from that point on I had pains but
nothing to strong. They gave me a date and time to come back to be induced but I knew I wouldn't
need that. I went home and as the day went on the pains gradually got worse, I felt Jack moving all
day. The pains were still only coming about every 30 - 45 minutes and were still bearable so I
decided to go to bed and try and get a little sleep, before I went to bed I had a show so I just
knew he was going to be born the next day. I woke up a few times through the night but still the
pains were the same, by 5 in the morning they had got a little worse and I definetly remember
feeling Jack move, I think this is the last time I felt him move. By 8 o clock I knew it was time
to get Callum off to his Grandmas and also to warn my sister we would be on our way to get her soon,
my sister and husband were my birthing partners. I rang the hospital and they told me to come over.
The pains were still about 15 minutes apart so I had a bath. By the time I had been in the bath
they were about 3 minutes apart so thought I better get a move on. We left the house and picked my
sister up we arrived at the maternity ward at about 9.40am and by the time we arrived there the
contractions were coming so quickly I don't even think they were 1 minute apart. As soon as we
arrived they asked me to do a urine sample which I couldn't do and then I said I really feel like I
need to push. The pains felt so strong I asked for some gas and air, they gave me this whilst they
put the heart monitor on to me. It seemed to be taking ages to find it but I wasn't worried at this
stage, my midwife said sometimes happens it depends on how far down the baby is. She said she would
break my waters and they would attach a clip to Jacks head to monitor him. They attached the clip
and still got no reading off this, at this stage I started to panic. They brought the scan machine
in and knew before they even said those dreaded words that he was gone. I think I even remember
saying to them he is gone isn't he. I was in total shock as was my husband David and sister Kelly.
I remember my sister just bursting into tears. She went to call our mam. I knew I still had to
gave birth and as I was 10cm when I arrived I knew it would be naturally. I asked if I could have
something a little stronger for the pain I also think I wanted this so I would be a little out of it
so I wouldn't know what was going on. Unfortunately the pethidine didn't even kick in as whilst my
midwife had gone to get it I had a real urge to push and baby Jack was on his way. My sister went
to get the midwife and a few moments later Jack was born. It was so awful the silence not hearing
your baby cry. I was a little scared to look at first as I wasn't sure what he was going to look
like. But my sister said he is lovelly. Jack was born at 10.55am and weighed 6lb 8 oz.
The first thing I said afterwards was how are we going to tell Callum, how does a 5 year old deal
with this. He was so excited about having a baby brother. My husband told him I don't know how he
managed it but somehow he did, I am so pleased I did not have to tell him.
Anyway then my mam arrived she just didn't know what to do or say I think she just wanted to take
the pain away from me. We held our baby and cried so many tears that day. My husband went to tell
out son and his parents. He brought Callum to the hospital to meet his baby brother he was so sad
so upset and he just cried and cried. He sat with him for a while stroking his face, I really don't
know what was going through his little mind. My mam went home to get my dad and my niece and nephew
and david rang his parents to tell them to come over as well. We spent the rest of that day as a
family holding and looking at Jack. My sister stayed at the hospital that night with me and my
husband went home with my son I really think he needed to be with his dad that night. We didn't
sleep at all that night, the next day came and everyone came back to the hospital. I decided I
wanted to go home that day. That was the hardest day of my life leaving Jack in the hospital all on
his own. It broke my heart to walk out of the hospital without him.
I never got to hear him cry or laugh, never seen him smile and didn't even see his eyes. My dear
beautiful son Jack I think about you everyday, I miss you so much and only wish you could be with us
today. Forever in our hearts Love Mammy, Daddy and Callum xxx
It has been just over 9 months now and I miss you so much, not a day goes by when I don't think
about you. I am already thinking about what we can do to celebrate your first birthday but haven't
come up with anything special enough for you yet. Lots of Love Mammy xxxx
Happy First Christmas
Merry Christmas Jack. Hope we have been able to make your first Christmas special and also hope you liked all of the gifts and flowers and balloons we brought to your garden today. I forgot my camera so will be back in the morning to take some pictures and to let some of your balloons loose to you. I love and miss you more than ever and really wish you had been here with us all today, it feels like something is missing and that something is you. I tried hard to hold it together for Callum's sake and did okay most of the day. I hope Santa brought you lots of good gifts wherever you are and that your not to full up with all that turkey. Love you always Mammy xx
Have A Good Weekend Everyone
If I Knew
If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.
If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.
If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.
If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.
If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.
For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.
There will always be another day
to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance to say
our "Anything I can do?"
But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.
So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,
That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.
So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear
Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.
Thoughts Today Memories Forever
Angela(Christopher-John Rowe)Mum
Its still so cold outside today. I was going to come to your garden today but by the time we got back from Asda it was dark and I have some fresh flowers for you. We will be coming in the next few days. I can't believe you would be almost 1 year old, I don't know where the last year has gone. I miss you so so much and wonder everyday what you would have been like now and what mischief you would be getting up to. One day I am sure we will meet again. Night Night lots of love Mammy xx
for you
It's me, your little Angel
Just checking in with you.
I know you're sad
because I'm gone,
and Mummy & Daddy I'm sad too.
It's beautiful here,
wherever I am,
there's such a lovely view.
But mostly when I'm sitting here
I'm looking down at you
I see all your feelings,
everyday when I look down,
I love to see you smile
and I know sometimes you frown
But guess what?
I have a job to do.
God saved it for your little boy.
I get to watch over you
and protect you from the world.
So though you cannot see me
and I know it's hard on you,
You'll surely see the benefits
of the job God has me do
Hi Jack, its so cold outside to day, I hope your wrapped up warm. You will have seen your first snow this morning I hope you had fun. It is almost Christmas and so wish you were here with us for your first Christmas. It is going to be so hard without you but I have to try and seem happy for Callums sake I hope you understand. I miss you so much and not a day goes by where your not in my thoughts. Lots of Love Mammy xx
Have A Good Weekend Everyone
This Tribute Is For Friday Busy Tomorrow
You were a gift sent straight from Heaven.
Given to us from God above.
We didn't know how much you would teach us
About the meaning of true love...
For true love sometimes means letting go
Of someone precious and dear.
That is what we were forced to do...
Although we wanted to keep you here!!!
However, this is quite a selfish wish.
One we know we should ignore...
But, we truly do believe
That God must have needed you more...
Perhaps to be an Angel now,
Full of wisdom and love...
Watching over those of us who love you
From the shining stars above.
We miss you more than you can know.
You will never be replaced...
In our hearts and memories forever,
Will be your sweet and innocent sleeping face.
Each time we see your picture
You seem to smile and say,
“Don’t cry, I’m in God’s hands,
We’ll meet again someday!”
“The Best”
God saw you getting tired
And a cure was not to be.
So He put His arms around you
And He whispered “Come to Me”
With tearful eyes we watched you.
We watched you fade away.
Although we loved you dearly,
We could not make you stay.
A golden heart stopped beating,
Hard-working hands at rest.
God broke our hearts to prove to us,
He chose to take the best.
It’s lonesome here without you
We miss you more each day.
Life doesn’t seem the same
Since you have gone away.
When days are sad and lonely
And everything goes wrong,
We seem to hear you whisper
“Cheer Up and Carry On”
Thoughts Today Memories Forever
Angela(Christopher-John Rowe)Mum
Have A Good Weekend Everyone
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
When tomorrow starts without me
And I'm not there to see;
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today
While thinking of the many things
We didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you.
And each time that you think of me
I know you'll miss me too.
But when tomorrow starts without me
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name
And took me by the hand.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
I looked towards the clouds today
And for a moment saw your face.
I wondered just where you have gone
With hope it's a better place.
Did you show yourself to me today,
To tell me you're all right?
Or was it just a daydream
Playing tricks upon my sight?
We will always feel the void inside
Because you are not here.
But each new thought you send our way
Lets us know you're near.
So until our journey nears its end
And we hear the angels sing,
We'll face each new day as it comes
And live off the love you bring.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Life is but a stopping place,
A pause in what's to be,
A resting place along the road,
To sweet eternity.
We all have different journeys,
Different paths along the way,
We are all meant to learn some things,
But never meant to stay.
Our destination is a place,
Far greater than we know,
For some the journey's quicker,
For some the journey's slow.
But when the journey finally ends,
We'll claim a great reward,
And find an everlasting peace,
Together with the Lord.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Thoughts Today Memories Forever
Angela(Christopher-John Rowe)Mum
Friday
Have A Good Weekend Everyone
Gone are the days we used to share,
But in our hearts you are always there,
The gates of memory will never close,
We miss you more than anyone knows,
With tender love and deep regret,
We who love you will never forget.
Gone is the face we loved so dear
Silent is the voice we loved to hear.
Too far away for sight or speech,
But not too far for love to reach,
Sweet to remember them once here,
Who, though absent, is just as dear.
In all the world we shall not find
A heart so wonderfully kind,
So soft a voice, so sweet a smile,
Inspiration worthwhile;
A sympathy so sure, so deep
A love so beautiful to keep.
Thoughts Today Memories Forever
Angela(Christopher-John Rowe)Mum
hi jack it was so windy when i came to the garden today. i didnt stay long im sure you and Elijah knew why. just long enough to check on you both and pick up your halloween things that had blown over!!! sleep tight little one have sweet dreams and il see you both tomorrow xxxx
Missing you
I miss you so much Jack more and more as each day goes by. I still don't understand why you were taken away from us. Your little cousin Liam was dressed in his halloween outfit tonight he looked so cute he is going to be a spider. I hope you liked your halloween present from Elijahs mummy!! It was so nice of her to think of you as well. Lots of love and kisses my sweet little man. Mammy xx
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